The stay-in-bed technique for constantly waking children

The stay-in-bed technique for constantly waking children

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As a mother of twins, I have to admit that I have had to face harsh trials of maternal survival. One of them was the passage from the crib to the bed of one of my daughters, who at the age of three decided that I wanted to sleep in our bed again and there was no way he was sleeping in his own bed.

This technique called "Stay in bed technique" of an American Supernanny, and which I have dubbed the Iron Mother Technique (later you will see why) was totally effective, and achieved what neither husband nor I had achieved in a month of screaming and affective psychology.

I'll explain what the technique of the iron mother or the technique of staying in bed.

I know that this technique will create controversy, and that many will disagree. I assume that all mothers who are concerned about their children love them madly, but that each one apply your own methods, often out of desperation. This is my case.

I consider myself a loving mother, or at least that's what my daughters say about me. I use positive education whenever I can, and it usually works for me, but in this case my partner and I were desperate. We hadn't slept for more than a month because the girl got up constantly crying at night because she wanted to sleep with us, she got angry, she threw herself on the ground when we tried to talk to her, and in the end we ended up yelling at her; until one day, in despair, I grabbed her arm and shook. I felt so bad that I decided to apply this technique. A hard but effective technique that only lasted one day, because since then the girl has not gotten up again, and it has been more than 5 years of that.

Before using therapy you should follow these guidelines:

- The most recommended thing, and before you have to get to this technique, is that you create a sleep routine for the child.

- Before sleeping, have a quiet environment where you are not over-excited or nervous.

- Spend time at bedtime, so that that moment is special. You can tell him a story, or sing to him, or talk about the day.

- Try to explain to him that he should sleep alone in his bed because he is older.

When all else fails and you want to apply this technique:

- The first thing you should know is that it is a hard technique, where you and your partner must be completely convinced and in agreement.

- The most important is stand firm and united, if not, better not start it.

- Never slack off. You can take turns to put the child to bed each time, but do not call your partner for help if you can not with him.

- If he is sick, or is afraid, or is due to a specific cause, such as some critical moment for him (school, separation from parents ...) you should not do it.

- The child will cry and he will try to make you give in by asking for water, pee, poop, even saying that he is ill, that he has a fever, etc. Be prepared for that and more, but I will teach you how to do it to serve him without lacking.

How to apply the stay in bed technique

1- When you put the child to bed, and you have told him the story, given kisses… you have to explain “From today you have to sleep alone in your bed. It is time to sleep”.

2- When the child gets up again, that is, 15 seconds after turning around. Put him back to bed and tell him "time to sleep."

3- From the third time he gets up, take him to bed and do not say anything, try not to have eye contact with him every time he gets up.

This is hard, because my daughter the first night was able to get up about 50 times and we spent two hours constantly putting her to bed between crying and tantrums. But when we were about to give in, she eventually fell asleep and realized that the easiest thing was to fall asleep in her bed because we were strong in our decision. The first night was terrible, but the second night he barely got up three times, and then never again.

As you do so, think that it is better to be hard one night than to be fighting with the boy every day. That has more wear for you and for the child.

4- Surely the child will try to expose his entire arsenal of excuses for not going to bed: thirst, hunger, pee, my stomach hurts ... In those cases, you must take him to the bathroom but without talking to him, when he finishes you return him to bed. Don't scold him if he doesn't pee, or doesn't drink, you just put him back in bed.

If it says that it's bad, You put the thermometer on him, but without talking to him, you put heat in his belly ... but in his bed. If it is okay you continue with the technique, if not, you should attend to your child and leave the technique for a few days when he is well.

The most important thing is not to lose control, not to get lost with your child in discussions that lead to nothing, just be firm in the decision and have a iron will. I assure you it works!

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Video: TIPS. Transitioning to a Toddler Bed! (May 2022).