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Keys to know if your child is afraid or respectful of you

Keys to know if your child is afraid or respectful of you


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No, it's not the same. One thing is fear and another respect. And depending on what you use in the education of your children, you will get one or the other results. But sometimes, the line between fear and respect is very blurred, almost imperceptible. How can we know if my child is afraid of me or has respect for me? Discover the keys to knowing if your child is afraid or respectful of you.

According to a large number of psychologists, There are two different types of education, depending on whether they are based on these two pillars: authority or respect. Although it sounds similar, it is not the same. One thing is to impose a discipline, positive for children, from the affection, and another thing is to be authoritarian, that is, to impose your rules and limits based on 'because I say so'. You may think that authority gets respect. But it's not like that. Authority gets fear, compared to positive discipline, which gets respect.

Respect is earned by listening to children. Authority is imposed, without more. In the short term it may work. In the long run, your children may only listen to you out of fear of the consequences. But sometimes it is difficult to tell if a child is obeying out of fear or respect. Here are the keys to find out. Your children are afraid of you if ...

1. One of your favorite phrases is 'because I said so'. It is very typical of authoritarian parents. The rules are imposed because yes, because I order it. No more.

2. You don't listen to them. You don't let your children expose what they think or why they have acted in one way or another. It is best to let them express themselves and explain why you are angry or upset.

3. You do not inspire confidence, but fear. There is the big difference between fear and respect. A boss can inspire fear or he can be a great example for his workers, someone who is admired and respected. You ... what kind of boss would you be in front of your children? A boss everyone fears? Or a boss they admire and respect?

4. You never teach them to do something. You just order it. In order for children to do things, they must first learn to do them. If you order them to pick up the room but you never did it with them so they could see how it's done, they may not know how to do it. In fact, parents are an example for children. If you do something in front of your children and then ask them to do it, they will feel admiration.

5. You don't respect them. Respect is earned by respecting others. Yes, it is like a kind of karma, you get what you give back. In the case of respect it is quite clear. If your children see that you respect them, and that you try to be fair to them despite demanding some things they do not want to do, they will respect you too.

6. You never ask them for things with a 'please'. It does not cost anything to end this tagline at the end of sentences. 'Can you finish breakfast now, please?' Many parents will say that children should not be asked so kindly, that in this way what is achieved is to lose authority ... and respect. Yes, authority is lost, but not respect.

7. You constantly threaten and yell at them. Can you imagine that your boss was yelling and threatening you every day? You'd be looking forward to getting out of there. I would lose respect and in the end the only thing I would get is the opposite ... some contempt and rejection. Someone who doesn't trust you doesn't deserve your respect, right? The same is true at home. A child who only receives yelling and threats will end up obeying just out of fear, but will want to escape from that situation in some way.

Do not get confused. Your house is not a democracy either. Parents must decide and have control. It is not a place where rules are agreed. Rules and limits are set by parents. But always from affection, and not from fear.

You can read more articles similar to Keys to knowing if your child is afraid or respectful of you, in the category of Conduct on site.


Video: Single Best Strategy for Gaining Your Childs Respect (June 2022).


Comments:

  1. Gallehant

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  2. Salamon

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  3. Tavey

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  5. Ruanaidh

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