That a child feels different in himself is not a problem, or should not be, because each and every one of us is different from the rest. The problem comes when that feeling different affects their self-esteem, their moods or their relationships with other children.
A child can feel different for many reasons ... because they are taller, shorter, because they do not have the same interests as most children, because they have learning difficulties, because of their origin or for any other reason. We tell you what happens when a child feels different and how to help him.
Young children build their self-concept and self-esteem little by little. At first, children build this image of themselves based almost exclusively on the appreciation and affection of their parents, but as the influence group expands, around 6-7 years, the assessment made by others begins to gain relevance.
The child who feels different, usually suffers some kind of exclusion in the peer group, (Pepito does not play soccer because he is very clumsy, or whore does not play with us in the yard because she is very bossy, or Pepito cannot come because is a pegón ...) and it is this exclusion that makes them think and feel that they are worse, and it is when their self-esteem and the concept of themselves can be damaged.
The role of parents in these situations is very important. It is essential to create a climate of trust with the child, which allows the child to express their feelings, thoughts and emotions. But it is not always the case that our children tell us how they feel and what happens to them outside the home, that's why we have to be pay attention to the signs that may make us think that something is wrong. Sleep problems, withdrawal, mood swings, not wanting to do the activities they normally do, difficulties at school, can give us the clue about something that is not going well with our child.
What can parents do in these cases:
- Listen to our son. Everything he tells us is important to him so we must listen to him and not downplay what he tells us. Phrases like, "Don't listen to them, or that's nonsense" don't help them. When they tell us something, the children expect us to help them solve the problem. You have to listen to them and understand their feelings.
- Help you value yourself, and let him see that his qualities are just as valuable as those of other children.
- Support and value you, trust him and listen to him.
- Teach children how solve problems positively, without resorting to anger or fights.
- Try that participate in activities that feel good, comfortable and have pleasant personal experiences. Expand your circle of friends.
- It is important too observe how our son behaves, since sometimes that feeling different and little accepted can make you have behaviors, (normal on the other hand when feeling rejected), that further accentuate that rejection. Being more withdrawn than normal and isolating yourself, hitting colleagues, snitching about everything, becoming a "clown" so that others accept you ... these are behaviors that can take place and that further complicate the situation. Therefore, parents must help them and give them examples of how to act at all times and make them see that this path is not the best.
We must bear in mind that conflicts and problems with other children are normal and necessary in the development of children, they have to learn to love and value oneself and understand that not everyone will always like them just as they don't like everyone. But we must pay special attention to those situations that we consider more serious, to avoid an emotional problem in the child, and when necessary or so we consider it, go to a professional who guides us, orients and advises on the best way to act in each case.
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